Tuesday, January 17, 2012
I wanted to make you a red heart grave blanket, I'm so sorry I didn't get it done, I had to work all weekend and ran out of time. I did get a new lighted cross and will get it out today. Your spot at the cemetary is beautiful, just like you, and eventhough you aren't there, I love it when people put things out in rememberence of you. I love you Jaci Lee Payton.
Well, today is the 4th anniversary of Jaci's departure to heaven. I think this year is even worse than last year and I thought it was supposed to get easier as time went on??!!! I am so proud that there are so many people that have kept her in their hearts after all this time. She had so many friends and touched so many lives in her short time on earth. She was an amazingly wonderful person inside and out. I love you so much and would give anything to have you back in my arms, even for a minute. I know we will be reunited one day-and I can't wait for that time to get here. I try to remember that you are the lucky one, to be first to get to heaven, but my selfish side wants you back here with us. I will do my best to stay strong today, but please tell those angels up there I need help! I love you to the moon and back baby girl and I'll see you again some day. Mom
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Well, baby girl, January comes around again. It seems like yesterday it was January 2011! I hate this month and everything about it. Absolutely everything reminds me of you. Calendars, clocks, phones, I mean everything! And sometimes I'm in the most unusual places when it hits me and it hurts so much. I'm trying to make 2012 a better year, to hand everything over to God and let him help me deal with the pain, but it sure is hard, I miss you with all my heart, soul and body. We all do. Dylan moved out this week and it hurts so much to have another child leave home. But I hope maybe we will get along better now. I love you