October-brings back lots of memories

Wow, what an emotional month. This month holds lots of hard days for many of my friends and for myself. I'm going to borrow a word I read on a blogsite called "An inch of gray" when she refers to the anniversary of the loss of her son, that word is "Crapaversary". This month was the "crapaversary" of the passing of 2 of Jaci's friends-they died in a car accident 10 months after Jaci, plus the 10 year crapaversary of the loss of a sweet friend's son-the day before his 10th birthday. The 18th was the heavenly birthday of Kyle, Jaci's boyfriend's best friend, he lost his battle with cancer 5 months after we lost our sweet Jaci. He would be 25. Hard to believe these kids would be grown adults. I still think of them as the age they were when they left us. 2008 was a very tough time for our small community. Seems like from September thru January are such hard months. I do my best to stay busy and hand my grief to God, but even after almost 6 years, it is so hard. Remembering how Jaci loved Thanksgiving-makes that a bittersweet time for me, remember how Jaci always made me take her Christmas shopping so she could make sure everything I got her was just what she wanted, them how she would get mad because I would make her wrap the presents and wait to wear her new clothes until after she unwrapped them. I missed those shopping trips! I miss those temper tantrums! I miss Jaci and my old life.